The Clones' Idea of Self Identity

Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go explores many themes of growing up and forming connections. As children in Hailsham, the clones go through phases of discovery and figuring out their self identity. As they come of age, our main characters continue to figure out who they are and what it means to be future carers. Kathy and Ruth's friendship was built on this idea of identity or rather their lack of it. Becoming quick friends, Kathy was often compared to Ruth and acted like her shadow. While there were times that Kathy does attempt to challenge Ruth, like when she implied she knew that Ruth's pencil case was from a Sale and not Miss Geraldine (60), she almost always ends up backing down and letting Ruth control both the situation and herself. Kathy is molded into another, more mild version of Ruth. It is not until she finds the tape that she shows any real individuality.

Kathy finds the Judy Bridgewater tape at a Sale and it quickly becomes her most prized possession. She only listens to the tape when "no one else was likely to be about, to play my song over and over" (70). The song is something that only she knows about which is why she values it so much. Later in the cottages, when Kathy and Tommy find the tape in Norfolk, Kathy makes the conscious decision to not tell Ruth about it. The tape was one of the only things that Kathy had that her friend didn't and was the thing that fuel some sense of individuality. Kathy feels like the more she strays away from what Ruth expects her to be, the more they will grow apart. She rationalizes keeping the secret and says "it felt like the three of us were close again and I didn't want anything to come along and break the mood" (183).

The clones' battle with individuality is so interesting because it goes against their nature. Being created for the same sole reason of eventually becoming donors, the clones can't pursue any personal dreams or occupations. Working to be unique is the only thing that can set them apart from the other. Ruth knows  this and shows her differences through the ways she talks about the future. The other clones listen in awe when Ruth expresses her dream to work in an office "so vivid[ly] everyone let her talk uninterrupted for ages" (144). When talking to the veterans at the cottages, Ruth often lets the others' misconceptions of Hailsham go uncorrected because it makes her different and superior to the others. While it makes her come off as ingenuine, she really just craves to be her own person in a place where she is surrounded by people just like her. The relationships  built between the characters rely on the careful balance of not forgetting where they came from while also avoiding blending into the donor archetype. Kathy and Ruth's friendship has many bumps because either of them try to overstep the unspoken boundary especially as they grow older and try to settle into their own identities.